


Iolaus is dead, long live Iolaus

by QueenofSchmoop



Category: Hercules: The Legendary Journeys
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, M/M, Schmoop, goes AU from end of series--and pretty much ignores the storyline in Xena, mention previous character deaths, spoilers for the entire series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 20:27:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7329559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenofSchmoop/pseuds/QueenofSchmoop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iolaus dies--again!  This time Hercules decides it’s time to really do something about it.  It also makes him realize that things need to change between them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Iolaus is dead, long live Iolaus

Hercules watched in horror as the giant monster raised its claws and brought them down, right on Iolaus. He yelled and charged, ramming the thing into a wall, bringing it all down on top of them. He managed to get away in time but the monster was buried completely. He took note of that fact in a distracted sort of way, then hurried over to his blonde partner’s side. There were huge gashes in his chest and he was gasping in a bad way.

“Iolaus, hold still! Moving will only make it worse!”

Iolaus was trying to speak.

“Shush.” He began to search for bandages. When he saw none, he ripped off his shirt and began tearing the yellow material apart. “We’ll get you to a healer.”

Tendons drawing, Iolaus hauled himself up and spoke through blood spattered lips. “Promise me.”

“I promise I’ll get you healed.”

“No,” Iolaus wheezed. “Promise you won’t go berserk this time. I know how you get when I die, Herc.” His last word was barely audible.

“Shut up.” It was said without heat. He began to shift the blond, but then Iolaus had a sudden coughing attack and he held him to his chest instead.

Iolaus looked up and mouthed something, something Hercules couldn’t make out. Then his eyes closed and his heart stopped. Hercules waited, then shook his head. “No! No, not again. I am sick of this! No more dying on me, you hear?!” He was shouting without realizing it. “You can’t keep leaving me like this! You can’t!” He also didn’t realize he was crying as well.

“Don’t think he can hear you, Hercolah,” Aphrodite said, appearing in a shower of pink sparkles. “Curly there has gone to the Underworld. Again.”

Hercules lifted the body up. “Then I’ll convince Hades to give him back. We’ve done that before.”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m here. I’m supposed to give you a message from Hades. From all the Gods, in fact. They’re getting a little sick of the revolving door you’ve got going for Blondie here.”

“They want me to just leave him dead?” Hercules looked at her. “Do any of you actually think I’d do that?”

“You might want to. He’s not getting any younger and he’s died how many times now? Maybe he deserves a rest.”

“Maybe,” Hercules said after a long pause. “But I still need him.”

She smiled. “I know. That’s why all of us have decided that there needs to be a change.”

Hercules was suspicious. “What kind of change?”

“You’re got a few options here, bro. One: Leave Iolaus dead and move on. Hades said he’d take you to the Underworld so you can say a proper goodbye if you like?” She saw the look on his face and nodded. “Yeah, that option’s out, I figure. Two: you can become a God again and use your Godly powers to keep him safe and out of trouble or heal him when he’s hurt.”

Hercules shook his head. “I don’t want to be a God again.”

“Figured,” she waved her hand. “Or there’s option three.”

“Which is?”

“You give him one of the Golden Apples.”

Hercules stared at her. “Make Iolaus immortal?”

“Yep.”

“How will that help? He’ll be immortal but not invulnerable to harm.”

She shook her head, as if confronted by stupidity. “The apple will make it so he can’t die, even from the most grievous of wounds. He’ll still be able to fight and he might get hurt but you don’t have to worry about him being killed anymore. Unless it’s by one of us. And we’ve also decided, Iolaus is off limits to the Gods now.”

Startled, Hercules asked, “what? Why?”

She smiled, mysteriously. “Oh, there are reasons. So you need to pick an option, bro. Until then--” the Goddess held out her hands and a pink light issued from them. Hercules watched as the wounds on Iolaus healed and he gasped back to life again. “It’s a 24 hour thing,” she told Herc as he let his partner down. “You have to make a decision and do whatever by then.”

“A decision about what?” Iolaus asked, then looked around. “Wait, was I dead again?”

“Yep. Bro will fill you in on all the details. I’m late for my manicure. Later!” Lifting a hand, she disappeared in her usually glowy way.

Iolaus laughed. “Good to know some things don’t change.” He looked back and frowned. “Herc?”

“Let’s get out of here.” They headed out of the cave where they had fought the monster. Despite his questions, Hercules would not tell Iolaus what was going on until they were well away from the cave. When they’d made camp and started a small fire, he finally told him everything.

“Huh.”

“That’s all you have to say? ‘Huh’?”

“What do you want me to say, Herc?”

“I don’t know!” Hercules nearly shouted, then took a breath. “Sorry,” he muttered. He closed his eyes. That made him jump when he felt Iolaus’ hand on his knee.

“Listen, I know you don’t want to be a God again. You hated being on Olympus. That’s out for sure.”

Hercules opened his eyes and saw his friend’s face close at hand. “Yes,” he agreed.

“So it’s between letting me stay dead and me eating the Apple.”

“No, it isn’t.”

Iolaus looked surprised. “It isn’t?”

“Iolaus,” Herc paused, “I can’t let you die again. I can’t.”

“Hercules…”

“No!” He stood and turned his back, speaking while facing away. “I’ve lost everyone else. Deianeira, Mother, too many to count. I can’t lose you too. It was hard enough when it happened before.”

“I know,” came the reply from behind him.

“It felt like part of my soul had been ripped out, when you were dead this last time. This last time,” he laughed bitterly. “How many times must I lose you? It’s a punishment worse than the Gods could come up with.” He shook his head. “Sometimes,” he said very quietly, “I wake up in the middle of the night and check that you’re still with me, and breathing. I bet you didn’t know that.”

“I knew.”

That made Hercules turn around, surprise written all over his face. “You did?”

“Yes. Why do you think I always make sure to be in your line of sight when we sleep now? Why do you think we haven’t gotten a separate room at any inns we’ve been at since I came back?”

Hercules started. “I…”

Iolaus stood up. “I know you’ve…needed reassurance. That I’m still here, still alive.” Hercules felt like he should apologize but the words clogged in his brain. Iolaus came closer then put his hands on his arms, right above the gauntlets. “I don’t want to leave you,” he admitted. “But maybe I should. Sometimes…I worry I’m holding you back.”

“What?” That broke Hercules out of his paralysis.

“Think of what you could get done if you didn’t have to worry about me. Look at all the good you did when I was…gone.”

Hercules growled and put his hands on Iolaus’s shoulders. “Don’t say that.”

“If I eat the apple, we’ll be tied together forever. You’d feel responsible for me. I know you want a family again--”

“No.”

Iolaus stopped. “No? To which one?”

“The family one.” He could see he’d surprised the man.

“You’ve always said it’s what you want most,” Iolaus said, shocked.

“Yes. But after everything that’s happened, I’ve come to realize, it’s something I can never have.”

“Hercules…,” Iolaus started to say, shaking his head.

“I’ve come to grips with it,” the demigod said, not entirely truthfully. “I won’t put any more innocent people in danger.”

“I’m not innocent?” It was asked in a lighthearted way.

“You know the risks. You take them freely. A wife, children,” his thoughts cast back to Deianeira and the kids, “may think they do, but they don’t.”

“Serena knew the risks,” Iolaus pointed out.

“Yes. And look what it cost her.” He had let go and turned partly away again.

“Look what it gained her too. She was dead. You going back gave her the life she has now.”

He shrugged. “It also got her killed.”

“What got her killed was being the Golden Hind and having the blood to kill the Gods,” Iolaus pointed out.

“She was safe until me.”

Iolaus blew air out of his mouth. “All right. Let’s say that’s true. That being with you got Serena killed. Deineira too. That doesn’t mean you have to be alone.”

“I won’t risk exposing someone who can’t fight back, like you or I can, to danger again.”

“Then find someone like Xena,” Iolaus pointed out. “A warrior princess type. Atalanta or Morrigan or someone.”

Hercules just shook his head. “We’re getting off track,” he pointed out.

“What were we talking about?” Iolaus scratched his head. “Oh yeah,” he said, it coming back to him. “That if I ate the apple you’d feel responsible for me.” He stopped. “But you’d never be alone,” he whispered.

Hercules couldn’t meet Iolaus’ eyes. The same thought had occurred to him. But he couldn’t consign Iolaus to immortality, possibly to his own fate, just to keep a friend by his side. He knew he had to say that, so he did.

“Herc,” Iolaus came around to him and looked up at him, “I’ve died so many times now.”

“Don’t--!”

“Listen!” Iolaus caught the big man’s hands in his and held them tight. “I’ve seen so much, both on this world and others. Met so many people, done so many things. I’ve lived, I’ve loved, I’ve lost.” His eyes looked down, a bit wistful. Hercules assumed he was thinking of Ania and Nebula, perhaps even Niobe. “Through it all there has been one constant--you.” He had looked back up. “By your side, fighting the good fight. You’re my best friend.”

“As you’re mine,” Hercules interjected.

“If becoming immortal is what I need to do for you,” Iolaus continued on, “then I’m more than willing to do it.”

“I don’t want you to--”

Iolaus cut him off. “Do you need me?”

“Iolaus…”

“Do you want me to die again?”

“Of course not!”

“Then let’s find an apple.”

“I don’t want you to be sorry in a hundred years’ time!” Hercules burst out. “Watching everyone you know die and having to start over. Outliving lovers and friends and perhaps even children. Maybe even being trapped and going mad like Callisto did.” He took a breath and reached down, touching Iolaus’ face. “I don’t want you to hate me for not being able to let you go.”

Iolaus reached up and covered Herc’s hand with his own. He turned his face into the palm, briefly closing his eyes, then opening them again. He met Hercules’ own. “I’m not just doing this for you, you know.”

“You’re not?”

“You think you’re the only one who’s lost people?” He stopped, unable to go on for a moment.

“I know you have, Iolaus--”

“And I don’t want to be alone! To die and wait in the Elysian Fields for you, when you may never come? When you may never die? Or be stuck, like my father?”

“That wouldn’t happen to you,” Hercules said emphatically.

“Or go to Michael’s realm of the Dead? Hercules, my place--as long as you want it to be--is by your side. Best friends, partners, watching each other’s backs. If I have to eat one of the Golden Apples to do that, I’ll do it.”

Hercules stood there for a long moment then nodded. “All right. If you’re sure?”

“I’m sure. Plus, I’m a little tired of dying, anyway. Gets old after about the third time,” he tried to joke.

“Got old, for me, after the first time,” Hercules muttered. He looked at the setting sun. “It’s getting dark but we only have 24 hours. We should get started.”

Iolaus nodded, a bit mournfully. “This is the one thing I miss about you being a full God. Instant transportation.” They fell into step after dousing the fire.

Hercules snorted. “Walking is good for you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” They bantered easily, neither thinking about the deadline or their circumstances too hard. Hercules couldn’t help sneaking little looks at him, though. He knew Iolaus noticed but he simply could not stop.

Luckily, they weren’t that far from the Maze where the Apples were kept. The tree had been regrown after burning those years ago when Callisto had tricked him. By the time the sun had risen they were entering the opening. Hercules had thought ahead and had stopped to get a bottle of oil along the way. He had, of course, told Iolaus about his adventures here before.

They made their way through the maze, keeping on their guard. But nothing interfered with them. That puzzled them both. They reached the doorway and found it clear, the door opened.

“Okay, does this scream trap to you?” Iolaus asked, stopping.

“Yeah.”

“It’s not a trap,” a voice said from behind them. They whirled and saw someone they knew very well.

“Cupid!” They said the name together.

“Hi, Uncle Herc. Iolaus,” he greeted them both. “Mom sent me. She’s, um, busy right now.”

“Sent you for what?” Hercules asked.

“I’m supposed to let you know that the Gods cleared the way and opened the door here. It’s not a trap. Everyone really wants Iolaus to eat the Apple.”

“They do?” Iolaus asked.

“Yes. We’ve all seen how miserable Uncle Herc is when you’re dead, dude. Plus, it gets tiresome, him calling in favors and stuff to get you back. If you eat the apple, everyone will be better off. You are going to eat the apple, aren’t you?” He asked, suddenly suspicious.

“Yes,” Iolaus smiled wryly, “I’m going to eat the apple.”

“Cool! I’ll spread the word up on Olympus.” Cupid took a step forward and clapped his hand on Hercules shoulder. “Now if we could just get you to open your eyes, Unc.”

“What?”

“Never mind.” He looked up and away. “Whoops, gotta go! Psyche needs me. Bye!” He flew off.

The pair stared after him for a while then turned to look at the doorway. “So. not a trap.”

“Guess not,” Hercules nodded. They walked cautiously in anyway. The tree was filled with golden fruit, ripe for the picking. “See one you like?”

Shrugging, pulling an apple down, Iolaus said, “one’s pretty much the same as the other, isn’t it? They all do the same thing, right?”

“They all do,” Herc agreed. He watched Iolaus turn the apple in his hand. “You don’t have to do this.”

“I know.” Still looking down at the golden skin that matched his locks, he said, “sorry, just lost in memories. Remember that time that Aphrodite had that contest with her sisters? And tried to bribe me with an apple?”

“I remember,” Hercules said softly.

“It seems like so long ago.”

“Are you sure you want to do this? The years that have passed will seem like nothing after you become immortal,” he pointed out.

Iolaus stood there, as still as a statue--and didn’t that bring back a bad memory for Hercules--then abruptly lifted the apple to his mouth and took a bite. As he crunched a great white gold light surrounded him and his countenance changed. To Hercules it was like nothing about his friend had changed and everything had. He was so shocked by what he was feeling, what was going through his mind, that he didn’t even notice that Iolaus was finishing off the apple. He laughed he saw his friend biting down to the core, then tossing it aside.

“What? Tasted good,” Iolaus said, patting his stomach.

Hercules laughed louder, then came over to him. “How do you feel?”

“Good. Great. But I don’t really feel that much different.”

Hercules nodded. “No, I didn’t think you would.” He glanced at the doorway. “Let’s get out of here.” He used his gauntlet to light a flame and then threw the torch down. This time he didn’t have to run, as he had before. They walked back, Iolaus rubbing his hands on his own skin and occasionally muttered something. Hercules did not ask what. It was only when they were out that he turned to him. “Your scars are gone.”

“I know.” Iolaus looked down.

Hercules felt a strange feeling. “Jason is in Corinth with Iphicles. Did you want to head there?” He spared a fleeting thought for his mother’s house but since Jason had left it was empty. He’d not been back.

As if reading his mind, Iolaus said, “let’s stop at Alceme’s. Get a good night’s rest.”

“It’s afternoon,” Hercules pointed out.

“But it will be night,” Iolaus retorted.

“Iolaus--”

“Herc. It’s okay. I’ll be with you.”

Hercules looked at him then nodded. “All right. But just for tonight; then on to Corinth?”

“Then on to Corinth,” Iolaus agreed. They fell into step. “On the way there I’ll see if I can’t catch us some supper.”

“Rabbit?” Hercules asked, dryly.

“Hey, you never know,” Iolaus remonstrated. They walked, soon coming upon the village. They were greeted by some but not as many as usual. As they made their way to Alceme’s house, Hercules saw Iolaus frowning. He was carrying their supper over his shoulder and headed around the corner to the kitchen to clean them as soon as they went in.

Hercules was spell bound as he stood in the middle of the house. A thousand memories came back, of growing up, of his visits, and of his mother’s passing. Tears made his eyes damp.

“Herc,” a soft voice said from his right. A hand reached out and touched him.

“Just remembering,” he said, voice thick with tears.

“Remembering is good. Just…don’t get lost in the memories.”

He turned and through wet eyes looked at the other man. “There were a lot of happy times here.”

“There were.” Drawing Hercules into the kitchen, Iolaus began to recount some of them. They laughed about childhood days and adventures, then about more modern times. “And when you got turned into a pig, remember that?” He laughed.

“I remember.” He grew thoughtful. “I wonder whatever happened to Catherine.”

“Oh probably found some nice boy pig of her own. All right,” he said briskly, “it’s ready for you to cook.”

“Why do I always get stuck with the cooking?” Hercules asked but didn’t really mean it.

“Because, as I’ve told you before, you’re the better cook. When I do it you complain about it being too overdone or not enough spices or whatever.”

“Uh huh.” Hercules got up and began to prepare dinner. Iolaus sat at the table and chatted then, at Herc’s prompting, finally set the table. They sat down to eat, enjoying the meal in companionable silence. Afterward, they went outside to fight and to test to see if the apple had made any difference in Iolaus. It was more playing than fighting as the sun went down. Soon they were laughing too hard to keep their hands on each other, giving up and going back in. They washed up then Hercules stopped.

Here at Alceme’s, they would not be sharing a room. Hercules always slept in his old room and Iolaus took the guest room or slept out in main room. There must have been panic on his face, or perhaps Iolaus knew him too well. Because the blond walked to Herc’s room and began to undress.

Hercules watched him from the doorway.

“No kicking,” Iolaus said as he slipped off his pants.

“I don’t kick!”

“Yes you do. Whenever we have to share a bed,” which hadn’t been often but had happened before, “you kick me.”

“Well, you’re a bed hog. It’s the only way to not end up falling off.”

“Ah ha!” Iolaus smiled in triumph. “So you admit you kick!”

“In self-defense!”

“As long as you admit it,” Iolaus said, triumphant.

Hercules shook his head. “I know what you’re doing.”

“Do you? It’s called winning an argument. You might try it sometime.”

The demigod cross over to him and caught Iolaus, pulling him close. “The other thing you’re doing.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replied blithely.

“Uh huh.” He shook his head in fond exasperation. The mood stayed with him as he watched his partner wriggle around in the bed, trying to get comfy.

Iolaus looked at him. “What?”

“Nothing, just waiting for you to make your nest before getting in. Sure you wouldn’t like something else? Warm milk perhaps?”

Making a face, the blond patted the bed. “Just get in here.”

“Thanks for inviting me to sleep in my own bed,” Hercules said, smiling to take any sting out of it. He had shucked off his own clothes and now he settled down. Drawing the blanket over them both he lay down on his back. “Now stay on your side, got it?”

“Do you see me moving?”

“No. Not yet.”

“Exactly. Now shush. I’m tired.”

That brought the day’s events rushing back and Hercules made a noise in his throat.

“Herc?”

Reaching out blindly, not caring that they were mostly naked, Hercules grabbed Iolaus and hauled him into a tight hug.

“Oof!” After a moment, Iolaus choked out, “love you too, big guy. Kinda need to breathe here?”

Hercules slackened his arms but didn’t let go entirely. He looked at his friend’s face. “I lost you again.”

“But you got me back again too,” he pointed out. “And now I’m going to live forever. Hey,” he said in a surprised tone, “did you notice how easy it was to bring me back this time? I mean, Aphrodite coming down and then how easy the task of getting the apple was? When have we ever had an adventure that went that smoothly?”

Hercules wouldn’t be side tracked. “Stop dying on me.”

“I think that’s what the immortality thing is supposed to do,” Iolaus pointed out.

“I know. I…you have no idea how much you mean to me.” He was struck that perhaps that was true. Had he ever really told Iolaus that?

“I’ve got a pretty good idea. Best friends, partners--”

“More than that.” His serious tone bled through. “Much more than that, Iolaus.”

“Herc?”

Meeting the other man’s eyes, he opened his mouth to say something but the words would not come. “I…,” he finally managed but then stalled out.

“It’s okay.”

“No, it isn’t. I need to tell you. You should know what you mean to me. How much I care about you. How much I love you, Iolaus.”

“I know.”

“But there’s more.” He could see he’d startled the man. “It occurred to me when….Dahak…” He almost couldn’t even say the name.

“Hercules--”

“The last time I lost you,” he said instead. “Some things, some thoughts occurred to me. But you were gone.”

“I came back,” Iolaus pointed out again.

“Yes.”

A long pause then the blond man asked, “if you had these…thoughts, Herc, why didn’t you say anything when I returned?”

Hercules actually blushed a little. “I was just so happy to have you back. I didn’t want to ruin things between us.”

“You think it would have ruined things?”

“I was pretty sure.”

“Based on?”

“What I know about you.”

Iolaus shook his head and sat back at little. “Herc. I think I understand what you’re trying to tell me but pretend I’m not that smart.”

“You are smart,” Hercules told him. 

A gentle smile. “Thank you. Just…tell me? Please.”

Hercules took a breath. “I think you know.”

“I think I do too. But I still would like you to say it.” When he saw Hercules hesitating again, he muttered, “oh Tartarus.” Leaning down, he kissed his friend right on the lips. 

Hercules was so startled he didn’t reciprocate at all. When Iolaus backed off, he stared at him. 

“Is that what you were talking about? You realized that your feelings for me had become--”

“More,” the demigod nodded. 

“You didn’t say anything because…?” Iolaus cocked his head. 

“All those women.”

The blond smiled. “And you’re any better?”

Hercules laughed through his nose. “Good point. Iolaus, I don’t want you to think that this is out of default or something.”

“Like how you’ve lost everyone you’ve ever loved and now I’m immortal and make the perfect companion?” Iolaus’ voice was filled with teasing.

“Yes,” Hercules answered honestly. “I want you to know that’s not why.”

“Can you tell me why?” Iolaus asked in all seriousness. 

“I thought you said you knew.”

“I think I do. Herc, I’d really like to hear it. I think you need to say it, to admit it out loud.”

Hercules raised an eyebrow at that but then conceded that it was probably true. “I came to realize,” he wasn’t about to make reference to that time again, “how much you mean to me. That…I love you.”

Iolaus wasn’t going to let him off the hook that easily. “You’ve said you love me before, Hercules.”

Shaking his head, he grabbed that well-loved face and pulled him in close. “You want the truth? Fine. I’m in love with you. You’re my soul mate, Iolaus. The one person in this whole world I can’t live without. Part of my soul was missing when you were dead. When you came back it was like color had finally filled back in to my world. I’ve never had more than a passing thought of taking a man as a lover. But I want that now. I want _you _,” he said emphatically. “I love _you _.”____

____There was a terrifying moment where Iolaus didn’t even seem to be breathing. Then he said, softly, “and you think I don’t feel the same?” Iolaus shook his head. “Herc, have you seen me involved with any women since getting back? I mean, really, other than harmless flirting?”_ _ _ _

____Thinking back, he said, “no, I guess not.”_ _ _ _

____“That’s because I came to the realization too. I died to save Nebula.” Iolaus leaned forward and put his hand on Hercules’ chest as the demigod drew in a sharp breath, “but I _came back _for you.”___ _ _ _

______They both stayed that way for a long moment then they surged forward at the same time, mouths meeting in a furious kiss. They rolled around on the bed, fighting for dominance, hands roaming everywhere. Hercules pulled back abruptly, Iolaus taking advantage to be on top. He opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted._ _ _ _ _ _

______“If you’re going to ask me something like, am I sure about this, or am I only doing this because of stupid reason number 46, I swear I’ll thump you, Herc.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He clamped his mouth shut._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Can we get back to the kissing now?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Sure.” They did. More rolling around but Iolaus--Hercules knew--let him win. He looked down at his friend, affection filling his eyes. He reached a hand up and ran it through those golden curls. “Do you know how many people I’ve heard praise this? They call you ‘the Golden Hunter’, you know.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I know,” Iolaus replied, a bit smugly._ _ _ _ _ _

______Hercules shook his head. “I should kiss that smug smile right off your face.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Iolaus licked his lips. “What’s stopping you?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He realized nothing was. He bent his head and kissed him, going on and on until they both had to break away to catch their breath. He saw he still had one hand in those locks and gave a very slight tug. “I love these too.” His eyes went wide as he realized that had slipped out._ _ _ _ _ _

______Iolaus smiled. “Gonna call me ‘Golden Hunter’ in bed from now on? Ack!” He squirmed as Hercules tickled him, then rolled himself over so that now Iolaus was on top. “Herc?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Maybe I will.” He knew his voice sounded strange but he couldn’t help the emotions flooding him. He watched as Iolaus got it, then leaned down and kissed him very softly. Then he made a small noise as the mouth moved, kissing down his neck and to his chest. Hands found their way back into that fair hair, cradling. It was intimate on a level he’d never been with any man, let alone Iolaus. But it felt so right! One hand freed itself from the thatch of curls and skated down his bed partner’s naked back. Stopping at the bit of cloth--the only bit Iolaus was still wearing--he slipped fingertips under it. “May I?” He asked, all tentatively._ _ _ _ _ _

______Iolaus nodded against his chest, the hair tickling a little._ _ _ _ _ _

______With his hand, Hercules pushed the bit of cloth down. With a little help, soon the body on top of him was completely naked. When he looked up, he saw that Iolaus was frowning. “What?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You too.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______It was a measure of their years together that Hercules understood instantly what this meant. He lifted his hips and wriggled as Iolaus divested him of the last remnant of clothing as well. Before Iolaus could climb back on top, Hercules stopped him._ _ _ _ _ _

______“What?” Iolaus asked, blushing just a little. “You’ve seen it before.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______It was true. They’d been naked around each other too many times to count. But this was different. Not just that they were naked and about to make love. But Hercules was noting the differences that the apple had made in Iolaus’ body. As his fingers skimmed over a hip, where he knew the man had once had a scar from a spear, he spoke. “You’re beautiful.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Iolaus’ blush deepened. “Not really,” he said, embarrassed. “You’re the one with the best body.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Hercules pulled him down and kissed him. “You’re _beautiful _,” he said again. He flipped them over and began to use hands, fingers and his mouth to map out the healed body. He soon had Iolaus writhing in need but he kept up the placid pace, taking his time and enjoying. This was his only first time with Iolaus and he didn’t want to rush. Despite what his growing erection was telling him. Hercules also wanted to show him, through the actions of his body, just how much he meant to him.___ _ _ _ _ _

________At last, as he knew it would, it grew too much for Iolaus. Herc found himself flipped over onto his back. Iolaus began to explore him as well, a bit more impatiently than Herc himself had done. As that golden head slid downwards, hot mouth burning little kisses into his belly, Hercules realized Iolaus’ intent, used his big hands to bring that face back up to him. He saw the confusion and perhaps a bit of hurt there as he said, “no. Not that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No?” The confusion cleared and Iolaus began to turn a little pink. “Oh! You want to make sure you can…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Now it was Herc’s turn to be confused. He stared at his bed mate, then suddenly got it. “No! I mean, yes. I mean, Iolaus, I think we, um, need to work up to that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“We do?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Hercules was blushing himself now. “Neither one of us has done it before. Right?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Right.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I don’t think it’s the sort of thing that you can just…do. Besides,” he hesitated then went on, “I’m, you know, kind of big.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I know,” Iolaus said emphatically, with a bit of leer in his voice._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Hercules laughed, despite it all. “I don’t want to hurt you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“That’s why I thought--”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I know. And I’m sure it’d be great but it would be…not together, if you know what I mean.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No. There’s a position we can get into,” and Iolaus started turning around, “that would--”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I know,” Hercules said hastily. “I…but that way wouldn’t,” he stopped then made himself go on, “we couldn’t see each other.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Iolaus turned back around and crawled up the demigod’s body. A smile broke over his face as he looked him in the eye. “You want to see me, is that it?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Hercules made a face. “I knew I shouldn’t have said that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No, I think it’s sweet.” Despite the light tone of teasing there was a serious under current to the words that let Hercules know that he was telling the truth._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I just…this is our first time.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“But not the last,” Iolaus interjected._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Pleased, but not allowing himself to be diverted, Hercules nodded and said, “I just want it to be,” realizing how he was about to sound the word came out a bit mumbled, “special.” He turned his face away. A hand came up and turned it back. He met beautiful eyes that were shining._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Thank you.” It was whispered in a loving voice._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“For what?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Iolaus shook his head. “Never mind.” He turned a bit so he was on his side, pulling Hercules with him. Lying on the bed, on their sides, facing each other, he said, “like this?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Hercules lost his ability to speak for a moment. Iolaus’ face was framed by the glow of the single lamp that lit the room. It made his hair shine and his face look younger somehow. Or perhaps it was the effect of the apple? Either way, he was struck once again by how gorgeous his friend was. He leaned forward and kissed him hard._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Okay, I take it this works for you,” Iolaus said, when they had finally broken apart._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Hercules gathered him up in his arms, situating his legs through his, twining their bodies together. He felt he couldn’t get close enough. He kissed him again, trying to meld with him, trying to show him everything. They began moving against each other. Hercules let Iolaus set the pace. When it eventually quickened, he pressed soft kisses into that straw colored hair, across his face. “Don’t leave me,” he said. “Never leave me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I won’t,” came the promise. “I love you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I love you too,” Hercules said back. A few more thrusts and, one right after the other, they both orgasmed. They lay there, shuddering in the after effects, calming down. A hand reached up and touched his face and it was only then that Hercules realized he was crying again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Herc?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’m sorry,” he whispered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“For what?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“For letting you die. For all the times I let you die.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Iolaus looked alarmed. “You didn’t ’let’ me die, Herc. Gods, is that what you’ve thought all this time? That you let me die?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Hercules couldn’t even nod._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Listen to me.” Iolaus moved in close, holding his face and looking him straight in the eye. “You are not to blame. For any of the times I’ve died. Do you hear me?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yes.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“But are you really listening? Because I want you to really understand this. I don’t blame you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Others did.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Iolaus looked furious. “Who?” He answered his own question. “Forget it, I know exactly who said stuff like that. Ignore them. None of my deaths were your fault, Hercules. None. I don’t blame you,” he repeated.___ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You should.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“But I don’t.” He ran a hand down Hercules’ face, fingers caressing his throat. “So stop listening to other people and just listen to me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Hercules took a breath. “Do you forgive me?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“No. Because,” he added, “you’ve done nothing wrong. You are not to blame,” Iolaus said it again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“All right,” he agreed because he knew he should._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Iolaus let out a slightly exasperated chuckle. “We’ll have to work on that, I see. But for now,” he dried the man’s tears, “I’m going to kiss you again.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Are you?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Right now.” He did just that._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________When it ended, by mutual agreement, Hercules got up and fetched a damp bit of cloth. He cleaned himself up as he walked back, throwing the square at Iolaus._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Not even going to clean me up?” Iolaus teased._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Hey, you made yourself dirty!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I think you had something to do with it,” he grinned._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Hercules almost blushed, standing there nude. He saw Iolaus noticing and went to the lamp to blow it out. “Ready?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Yeah.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He came back to the bed, knowing the way by rote. It helped that the window was open and the stars and the moon shone in. He saw Iolaus’ shape in the light and pulled him close. Wrapping him securely in his arms, he let out a contented sigh. He could almost see Iolaus’ expression. Putting fingers back into that mane, he merely turned his lips upwards and waited. The body against him tensed then relaxed. Surprised, he looked down and saw Iolaus looking up at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Iolaus shook his head as best he could and cuddled in closer. “We’re going to have to deal with your issues, Herc.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Tomorrow. Or the next day.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Mmmm,” Iolaus hummed, starting to doze off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“We’ve got the rest of our lives,” Hercules said, realizing what that meant._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Grflb,” the hunter said, a bit insensibly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Hercules looked down, smiling sweetly. Then something occurred to him. He remembered something Cupid had said back in the Maze. He looked up and said, “I get it now, Cupid.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He heard the sound of wings but there was no sudden appearance. He let himself drift off to sleep, Iolaus comfortably in his arms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________End_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


End file.
